Life Reset – How To Find Your Path

Today we’re going to be talking about what to do when you don’t know what to do in your life as a career, etc.

Most of these videos are going to be based on conversations I have in my daily life. This topic is something I’ve spoken about with people many times, but I spoke about it with someone recently and I thought it warranted a video. Partially because of the state of the world and how it’s not really supportive of people knowing what they want to do, or being passionate about things, etc.

This topic can apply to you whether you’re in high school, you’re in college, university, working, not working, the situation doesn’t really matter so much. Basically if you’re unfulfilled, there’s no passion, maybe you don’t have drive, vision, you’re not sure what you want to do, feel like you’re not really going anywhere, you’re kind of stagnant, etc.

If that’s not you, well, then I still encourage you to watch. Maybe there’ll be something that you pick up on, or at the very least, you’ll learn things that you can use to help other people.

One concept that I talk about all the time, regardless the topic, is that nothing ever stays the same. Nothing is ever stagnant. Everything is always changing.

That means you are always getting better at anything that you do or do not do. Meaning anything you do, you will get better at doing that thing, and anything you don’t do, you will get better at not doing that.

If you are in a state of not knowing, of uncertainty, those types of things that I just mentioned, you will not stay in that same state. Meaning you will either move closer towards a state of knowing, being fulfilled, and having peace, or you will be continuing to move away from it into more unknowingness, more uncertainty, confusion, potentially loneliness, etc.

Sometimes not knowing what you want to do isn’t actually something to worry about. In other cases, it definitely is, but either way, not taking action on it is a problem because if you don’t, you will only be led further away from it. That doesn’t mean you’ll never find it, but it’s definitely not the best approach.

More important than what do I want to do? What do I want to achieve? etc., is who am I? What do I believe in? What do I value? And what does that belief call me to do?

As an orthodox Christian, basically you need to know: Who is God? Why do you believe in God? What do you believe about God and what does that mean about you? Who does that say you are and what does that belief call you to do?

You need to look at your life and see where are you aligned with that, and where are you not aligned with that. It’s a lifelong journey, there will be things that you don’t know, that you’re not sure about and that you’ll discover and improve with time, but anything that you see that you are not in alignment with is something you need to work on and something you need to change. So do that. Make a list, do comparisons, etc.

The other thing is your purpose is given to you. So if you know all that, fantastic. If you don’t, then figure it out. Then on the question of what does the faith call you to do? It calls you to do many things, but it also gives you a purpose in life. And that purpose is the same for everybody.

There’s different ways to work towards it and to achieve it, but the purpose is the same. It can be said in multiple ways, be thought about in different ways, but it’s basically to become like Christ, to become a saint and to acquire the Holy Spirit.

Again, you can take a different approach with each of those, but they’re all generally along the same lines. So that is your goal. When you orient yourself towards that goal, it affects everything else in your life. The things you do, what you engage in, the people you speak with, the communities you are a part of, what you do as a career, how you interact with your family, the things you think about, what you enjoy, etc. So this is the most important thing.

After that nothing really matters. We’re going to be talking about everything after that, but nothing really matters after that, so that is what you want to figure out first.

The next thing is that you don’t want to be too hard on yourself about time. Meaning it’s very easy, especially today with social media, to compare yourself with others and be upset that you are not where they are, or that they have achieved things at the same age or younger than you that you’re nowhere near, whether that be in terms of status, finances, family, whatever it is.

Now, like I said at the beginning, nothing stays the same, so you don’t want to waste any time. Time is interesting because you don’t want to waste any, you want to make use of every moment, and any moment that passes you won’t get back.

At the same time, everybody’s on their own journey and time isn’t even real. Everybody goes at their own pace. You’re being made into the person that you need to be to achieve the things that you’re going to achieve and do the things that you’re going to do, so don’t worry about anyone else. Your only competition is yourself.

We’ve established that the spiritual side of things is the most important, and that is where your life needs to be centered, and everything else is supportive of that and builds off of that. In achieving this goal of life, of becoming like Christ, acquiring the Holy Spirit, and becoming a saint, we are generally called to follow one of two paths: 1) The monastic life, or 2) Marriage/married life.

Many of you probably already know if you are called to one or the other. If you are not sure, and also just to verify, I would strongly recommend visiting a monastery for more than a day. Go stay there and immerse yourself in their life.

You can stay for a few days, a week, depending on where you’re going. This will not only be a spiritually fulfilling experience, but it will give you clarity on the path that you are meant to follow. And maybe you’re not 100% sure after that, and that’s okay, but it should at least give you some guidance, give you some thoughts and direction.

The world is not very supportive of helping you know what you are supposed to do, who you are, and what you are meant to be, etc. This is where you find a lot of people not really having meaning, any joy, or peace in their life. There’s either really nothing worthwhile that they’re doing, or they’re doing things that are worthwhile in terms of the world, but they’re still unfulfilled. Or they attach themselves to some sort of movement and that movement becomes their identity, and of course, this can lead you astray in multiple ways.

By doing everything that I’ve said so far, you are avoiding that, but the world is also not supportive of you being an adult. Meaning there is no clear distinction between having been teenager and now you are adult.

Traditionally, this did happen, and there are some cultures that still have different celebrations like that today, but many times it does tend to just be a cultural celebration and not a shift in responsibility and mindset.

A really easy example of how the world doesn’t support this, is school. You go to preschool, elementary school, middle school or high school, and college or university. You’re in school from anywhere from 2-4 years old, all the way until you’re anywhere from 18-30, and life doesn’t really change too much throughout that time for a lot of people in terms of what they do.

You need to take it upon yourself to create this shift. As a guy, having something that marks this shift is very simple because you can just do something physical. Some sort of competition or physical challenge. If you don’t know how to fight, you’re going to go learn to fight, or something physical that marks the occasion.

Women can totally do this as well. It doesn’t have doing a fight and getting punched in the face, but it can be maybe climbing a mountain or something, going on a hike that’s really cool, kayaking across a lake, but the point is, it needs to be a challenge.

You can do physical challenges, but it can also be a shift in mindset, taking on new responsibility in the community. It can be any number of things. So you need to do this, but you need to do this with the intention that this is marking the change in who you are. It is making you an adult.

This does not mean you need to know everything and you need to have everything figured out, but it means the shift in your mindset, the taking on of responsibility, taking ownership of your own life, and that you are taking initiative on where your life is heading. It also means getting rid of any victim mentality that you may have.

As an adult, you need to take on the initiative of becoming the best version of yourself, being the best that you can be and doing the best for your family and the communities that you are a part of. That is something that can be hard with today’s world because we place so much focus on the self.

In the past, for many people, what they did, they did because they were called to do it, they needed to do it. There was a gap to be filled and they filled it. You can also say this similarly with the best people in leadership positions are often the ones that don’t want it or are not pursuing it, but they are the ones best suited for it and they are able to serve the community the best.

When I say be the best that you can be, that is something that maybe depending on the type of media you consume and communities you’re in, may be a message that you receive, but often it’s in a selfish way. It’s for the sake of yourself, so you can have whatever, not so you can serve, not so you can be the best for someone else, for something else, for another group, to help people, etc. It’s often centered on the self.

You want to think from the perspective of what value do I have that I can impart on others that I can give and improve the lives of others? Maybe you don’t fully know right now, and that’s okay, but that should be something that is in your mind and something that you reflect on as you progress through this.

What does it mean to become the best that you can be? We mentioned at first having the spiritual center of your life. Is that the main thing in your life? If it’s not, make it, and you need to progress in that arena. You need to pray, be a part of the community, find someone who can guide you on this path, be involved in the church, find a spiritual father, etc.

Then other areas of your life. You shouldn’t be doing anything passively.

Health: Do you know what you are doing and how it affects your health? Do you just eat mindlessly? Do you not know what you’re eating, why you’re eating it, or what it’s doing to you?

Physical fitness: Not saying you need to look like a bodybuilder or anything, but are you active? Do you feel in control of your body? Are you strong, mobile, flexible? Do you live pain free? Do you feel like you can jump into any physical activity, sport and enjoy it and be able to be a part of it in a way that you know is fun, that you feel you can do and like you’re in control of your body, and you can adapt to that situation? If not, then these are things that you want to pursue.

Again, it doesn’t mean you need to be a professional athlete. It doesn’t mean you need to have health knowledge that’s practitioner level where you’re creating protocols for people with different conditions and things like that.

It does mean you know what you’re doing it. You know what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Going back to the beginning of the video, you need to think about different skills.

For example, sales. This doesn’t mean you need to learn how to be a car salesman, doesn’t mean you need to learn how to be an expert salesperson of any kind. But do you know how to express what you want? Do you know how to frame it in a way that benefits both parties?

Do you know how to negotiate? Everything is sales and negotiations. There is a way to do it that is selfish and there is a way to do it that is moral and is representative of your values.

Can you write? How many times have you written something and it not been interpreted the way you want it? Can you express your ideas in written form? This is a very important skill.

Also presentation skills, communication in general, you also have creative skills. Are you doing anything that is creative? Again, not that you need to be a professional musician, or your artwork needs to be in a gallery or anything like that, but are you involved in some sort of creative medium for fun, to express yourself, to give yourself a break, challenge yourself in different ways.

Play an instrument, make artwork, write poems, carve wood, whatever it is, but be involved in something creative and develop that skill.

Computer skills: Do you have good computer skills? You don’t have to be a coder, but are you comfortable using devices of different sorts?

Design; not that you need to be a professional designer of any kind, but let’s say you want to host an event, promote a product, whatever it is; can you make a nice looking graphic for that thing? You’re hosting a party, your church is having an event, whatever it is. Can you make a graphic for that that looks nice, that is appealing.

Can you communicate in a way that elicits an emotional response? Can you get people excited about things? These are all things that you need to work on.

Do you spend time outdoors? I would say what I’m doing right now counts and doesn’t count. Meaning, yes, I’m outside, but I’m paying attention more to speaking. I’m not focused on everything that’s around me to the full extent.

Are you doing something that keeps you in the present moment? This can be with prayer, this can be with going to church, but on top of that.

Exposing yourself to some sort of danger. Again, doesn’t have to be crazy. You don’t have to be going out where all the bears are or take boxing lessons. Boxing is a great example though. You can’t really be thinking and stressing about things when you’re trying to not get punched in the face.

But similar to that, I mentioned kayaking already. There is some element of danger there. You can be completely safe and it’s a very safe activity, but there is some element of danger. You’re in the water, Same thing with the hiking. You’re doing something.

Can you cook? Anyways, I feel like I’m kind of getting off track here a little bit. This all obviously still relates, but this is a whole other topic. Point being, you need to build up your skills and become a well rounded person.

Then, don’t let your schooling be your education. Meaning constantly be learning on your own. Research things, look into topics, and they can be things that you’re interested in, and it can be things you’re not really that interested in, but just learn.

Learn and look into things from different perspectives. I see this all the time. So many people who want to be doctors, surgeons, nurses, etc., which many people have noble reasons for wanting to go into those professions, but for other people, it’s just that they want to help people and that’s what comes to mind.

I speak to these people all the time. There are so many more things out there that you can do, and oftentimes these things are more appealing to people. Whether it’s with nutrition, herbalism, or whatever. The point being, you always want to look at things from different perspectives.

And then, have hobbies, have things you’re passionate about. What did you enjoy doing as a child? Often kids know what they want to be when they are very young and then the world confuses that.

It could be parents that do that, it could be friends, it could be teachers, it could be just the world in general that confuses that. But most people know what they want to be when they are a child.

Now, in my case, maybe my parents would correct me, but as far as I remember, there was no one thing I wanted to be. I wanted to be everything, and so that’s kind of what I’m trying to do.

The point being, you normally know, and then you get lost from that. Try to think back and reflect on that.

Now, in terms of money. You can have the goal of making money, but that goal, on its own, again, is selfish, and it’s egotistic and rooted in the world. You don’t want your sole goal to be making money. That doesn’t mean you can’t try to make as much money as possible, but that can’t be the goal in and of itself. There has to be something else.

Think about your future. You may not know what you’re passionate about, what you want to pursue, but I’m sure there’s something. There’s got to be something in your life that you know you want in terms of lifestyle, or for your family. Even just as simple as I want to be able to provide for my family, your future family, or current family. That’s more than enough to get started, to get going and to do really well. You can apply yourself with that.

For time, we’re gonna wrap up this video here. It’s longer than I intended, but also didn’t get to everything that I intended.

There’s a lot more things we can talk about. Let’s say you’ve done everything in this video. Then what’s your next approach? What do you do? What kind of job do you get? With income, what should you pursue? Or maybe you’ve done all these things and there is something that you’re passionate about and that you enjoy doing, but you don’t know how to monetize it. These are all things that I talk about with people all the time.

So, you know what, actually either in the description or in the comments, I’ll leave something where you can get in touch with me and we can chat.

Going back just for a second to the skills you want to have; develop skills that can be monetized, and knowing how to monetize them is another topic. Everything I mentioned you can monetize in some way because it applies to everything.

All right, we’re going to wrap it up. Again, time is not real, but it’s calling me. People are waiting for me. So thanks for watching and see you in the next one.